Party like it's 1999

My husband loves the '90's. If he could still do, say and wear everything that he did in the 90's and be found socially acceptable, he would. He still listens to 90's Christian rock music...on Cd. He still references 90's pop-culture, he says things like 'Word' (he has a 90's catch phrase for anything) and it was just last year that I finally convinced him to throw out his Doc Marten sandals circa 1995 :)

So it should really come as no surprise to anyone that knows him that for his birthday he really wanted to go to a video store. We hadn't been to a video store since 2008 when we moved from Rapid City. Of course Rapid still has our favorite Mr. Movies up and running and I cry a little everytime I'm home for a visit because nothing says your home like 99 cent movie Monday, but most video stores are obsolete these days. We've been with Netflix since 2009 and we of course order a few things OnDemand from our cable provider, in a pinch I've also frequented the Redbox, but no where have I really seen a good old fashioned video store.

A little google-ing from a guy that just can't let go of the 90's resulted in Luke finding a real Blockbuster just a couple miles from us. The best part of the day however was listening to Luke explain to Joshua (who has no idea what a 'video' even is) what a video store is. I of course stepped in with "It's a movie store, they let you check out movies there." Lucky for us Joshua can get excited about anything so he went with it jumping up and down saying let's go!

The drive there was filled with Luke making comments like, "I can't wait to see all the movies lined up on the walls, oh and the snacks, they always have lots of snacks." I mostly just nodded :) It was everything he'd hopped that it would be and more! The smell was the same as he'd remembered it, they were playing a movie in the background, and the best part was he could share it with his sons.

That night after the kids were in bed Luke thanked me for humoring him and going along with the "video store" birthday adventure. Honestly it's turned out to be kinda great! The boys love going there and I've been able to use it as a reward for them already so it's kinda been a little gift for me too. It's so crazy when something so small can bring you a smile and some joy. It's also pretty great when your 4 year old says, "I really enjoyed that video."

An un-tainted love for Valentines Day

I have always loved Valentines Day. It's just so beautiful with red and pink little hearts everywhere. Glue and glitter and of course CANDY!

I'm Valentines Day survivor. I survived YEARS of never receiving a valentine from a boy other than my father. I survived crowded high school hallways packed with girls carrying giant bouquets, teddy bears, and balloons.I survived never once being asked to a Valentine's day dance, and believe it or not the first time I ever had a date for Valentines Day was the year I got married 4 days before our wedding day. I survived it all and came out still loving Valentines day like a kid.

Of course I kept my head down in the halls those high school years. I pretended I didn't see everyone holding hands. I sat at home reading my Valentines from my parents and going out to eat with good 'ol mom and dad instead of going out for a romantic meal and to the school dance. At thirty years old I can honestly say "Who Cares!"

I have one of those great moms who says all the "mom lines" and of course she use to say to me, "that boy not liking you just means that the boy you're going to end up with is even better." Man, did I ever hate it when she'd say that, and of course I'd always say something back like, "but I don't want someone better, I want that boy." :) Mature huh? Of course my mother who is always right....was right.

I have a TON of young facebook friends and always around Valentines Day I see these super sad status updates that read something like - "Happy National Singles awareness Day." or the classics, " I didn't get a Valentine" and "I wish I had a boyfriend (or girlfriend whichever the case may be)." If I had one piece of advice to those people it's this: Don't let it ruin Valentines Day for you, Someday you'll have exactly what you always wanted, or maybe even something that you never knew you wanted, but don't let it get you down. Read those valentines from your parents and cherish them. Trust that Love is something greater than one day a year and when it finds you you'll have it all year and Valentine's day will just be cherry on top of the sundae you already have.

Today me the kiddos worked on making Valentines to send out to our family and friends. We sprinkled glitter, the boys painted, and we laughed. I'm so glad that I never let anything ruin Valentines Day for me. I can honestly say the only regret I have is that I didn't always appreciate the corny Valentines from my Dad. My mom of course still sends me one every year, but after all those years that I thought gee thanks the only one I'll get from a boy, my dad's card is now the only card missing.

Ending up with my Husband - totally worth never having a Valentines date :)

Another Cold & Flu Season

I haven't blogged in what seems like ages! Right after a huge break due to my camera break down, our laptop also had several issues arise. Now up and running again (thanks to a miracle working friend) I think I'm ready to be once again committed to writing at least monthly.

It seems the last month and a half has had someone in our family sick about every other week. Whether it has been a stomach bug that hit everyone but Luke, Influenza that knocked everyone down but me, or the Pneumonia that had Joshua in the hospital. It's been a rough go around here. My least favorite part about sickness is missing church. We have such an awesome church family, one where you feel like everyone is really is family and you miss them when you don't get to see them. As the wife of a Pastor I always end up with stay home from church duty :(  I stay at home no matter who gets sick and sometimes it feels like it goes on forever!

I cannot wait for the cold & flu season to end. Joshua catches everything it seems! Understandable due to his medical past, his immune system will always be weaker than what it could be because his body is giving all it has to making blood, and I can't complain about that.

A few days ago we had an unfortunate inaccurate blood draw that aged me about 10 years in a day. The doctor sent Joshua to the Children's hospital immediately and we thought for sure he'd be getting a transfusion and who knows what else. His trip to the hospital proved the blood reading to be inaccurate , but was surely a blessing because it was there that the ER doc sent for chest x-rays and they discovered that the reason he wasn't recovering from the last virus he had was because he'd developed pneumonia. I'm pretty sure he thought that I was going to squeeze him to death when he finally got home that night after a day at the hospital.

Joshua's Medicine Chart...he's taking just a few things right now :)

Of course the hemoglobin had all of those terrible memories flooding back to me. And I'm not sure I've ever cried as hard as I did last Friday. A couple of thoughts though, that went through my mind that day I think are worth sharing.

At the terrifying thought that there could have been something seriously wrong with Joshua's blood again there were a few places where I found peace. The first was in knowing that I am not Sovereign, but God is. Jonas and I were sitting at home most of the day waiting for the phone to ring with any news while Joshua and Luke were having a myriad of medical staff tend to them. I spent alot of that time worrying, then praying, then beginning to worry again, counteracting it with prayer again and a couple of times just really bullying myself. "I should have known something was wrong." & "I'm not a good enough mother." Are just a couple of the things I told myself. Nevermind that the previous day Joshua had been racing around at the park and acting completely not sick. I still punched myself in the stomach with the accusation that I should have known something was wrong. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight sitting and silently praying for God to give me the strength to hear whatever the news would be, good or bad, that it hit me like some kind of spiritual semi-truck. God knew this was going to happen, I didn't. God knows what the outcome will be, I don't have to. I love Joshua, God loves him even more. God is sovereign over all things, I'm not....and that's a good thing.  It was then I was finally able to quit beating myself up and realize that whatever happened, God was in control and I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

Joshua playing at the park the day before his hospital trip-clearly acting like he wasn't sick at all!

The other peaceful moment I had was in thinking about the almost 5 years of Joshua's life so far. I remembered when he went through a phase and every morning he'd wake up singing a song. I remembered the first time he met Lambie, how he cuddled him that first naptime like he'd never cuddled any other stuffed animal and I knew that Lambie would be "the one". I remembered the time that my dad took Joshua to Runnings and asked him what toy he wanted, Joshua told him all of them. I thought of our family vacations to Omaha and all the fun little trips we take together. I remembered everything. I thought how blessed am I to have gotten to spend almost every minute of Joshua's entire life with him. If something awful were to happen to our family I know that I wouldn't have any regrets about how we've spent our time. If you've ever seen my facebook I'm sure you know that we do almost everything together. Some families may not have the same opportunities that we do, but I am surely thankful for the way we are able to spend our time.

I won't forget the relief I felt when Luke called later that night and said they re-drew a blood sample ran it and Joshua could come home without a transfusion. Praise God! On a side note: a transfusion can be a tricky thing for a person that doesn't make blood in a normal amount or process because that person's body will use transfused blood quicker than their own and their body will stop making their own blood after a transfusion because it feels like it has the blood it already needs. This can help an anemic person but also cause a chain of other events to occur, so it can become complicated. All I know is God answered our prayers.

My last thought is that I hope the next time I blog I can start with the sentence "None of us have been sick for weeks." Here's hoping!