Can You Draw a Bigger Circle?

I've been reading in Charles Swindoll's book The Mystery of God's Will, and honestly there are so many passages in it that are worth quoting and repeating that all I can say is - read it. So far (I'm only on the 5th chapter) I haven't even read anything that is new information, it is just such a clarification and confirmation of what I already know to be true.

I have had the pleasure of working in different forms of youth ministry for at least 10 years. I love working with kids! I find youth ministry so refreshing because for the most part, kids are honest with you. Even if what they are saying isn't what you want to hear, they are not afraid to tell you. There has been more than one occasion in my life where I've had the chance to really connect with a teenager, tell her about the Lord and all that He's done and whole heartedly expected the person to jump for joy at the opportunity to become a Christian. In those instances though, the opposite has occurred. I have had teens tell me numerous times, "I'm just not ready to be a Christian, maybe later, when I'm older, but for now I'm just having too much fun doing what I want to do." "I don't want to have to figure out what God wants me to do. Things are going just fine for me." Now even though this is disappointing and hard to hear, at least it's the truth. Because how many of us Christians have the exact same attitude but are aren't being honest with even ourselves.

I read in Swindoll's book just this morning, "I have never seen an exception to this rule: Major adjustments accompany God's will. The will of God means risk." WOW IS THAT TRUE! I can honestly say that obeying God's Will has never made me feel comfortable. Now, it has made me feel obediant, excited, blessed, unsure, reliant, but never what I would describe as comfortable. The time that I was the most comfortable in my entire life was when I first married. Luke and I were both working well paying jobs, him as a youth pastor and myself as a middle school teacher. We had no children, we had plenty of income, we lived near my parents, and we were happy. A year later I was pregnant, Luke was feeling God leading him to pursue his calling to be a Lead Pastor and I knew my place was going to be at home with our first child. Our life was about to be turned upside down and we didn't even know the extent of the change we were about to experience. Luke took a new job, Joshua was born and one day in the NICU blew through our savings account leaving nothing behind. We took a sick baby to a new place with no grandparents to help us, noooooo money, no close friends, and we followed God's will.

I was more scared than I had ever been in my life. What was God doing? He was saying,"trust me." and He says it to me everyday. Since then my life has been extremely uncomfortable, but in a good way. I had never before received God's blessings like I do now, but I also face many many challenges. As my comfort zone becomes bigger I hear God's voice saying to me, "Draw a bigger circle." God's will is never for me to recline inside my comfort zone, but to take me to the places I wouldn't go if I wasn't following Him. A passage from Swindoll's book says that when people question him about God's will he usually tells them that the question isn't "What is God's will for me?", but "am I willing to follow God's will for me." God's will is everywhere, but are we willing to do it.

Good Bye 20's & Hello 30's

I can honestly say that I've learned alot about life in just last 10 years. When I see photographs of myself at age 20 and younger and I often think to myself, "oh sweet naive Mary, you have no idea what is in store for you." I'm sure that when I turn 40 I will look back at this and think something similar, but that's what life is all about. We learn many lessons as we draw closer to our Lord and as we do this we strengthen our faith and reliance on Him. Even though many of the lessons that I've learned have been difficult ones, ones I struggled through, and ones that I wince at the memory of, I am still thankful for them. They have shaped me into the person I am today and my hope is that the person I am now is wiser, braver, and more Christlike. Here are what I think are the Ten biggest realizations I've had in the last ten years.

1. no matter how much contact you have with kids, you don't really know anything until you have your own.

2. There is a certain kind of security that is given and felt when you have a relationship with your Father, and when this is lost (by death, divorce, or never established) it changes you. After the loss of my father I have an even greater understanding of why God describes himself as our Father, He can offer us a security that no one else can and I am even more dependent upon this now that I have lost my earthly father.

3. Nothing can prepare you for birth of your first child.

4. You can never pray too much.

5. It's one thing to say, "they're in a better place now." and a completely other thing to find joy in your heart knowing that it is better to be in heaven than to be with you.

6. Love that lasts is not a feeling, but a commitment.

7. Write yourself a note when you wash clothes at midnight, because you will forget, and they will make your entire house smell after 2 days.

8. When someone asks what you want for your birthday and your first instinct is to say, "I really don't NEED anything." you are officially an adult.

9. Other than death, I have yet to find anything in life that cannot be reversed or made right.

10. My regrets in life are all things I was too scared to try and none of them are things I tried and failed at.


....And I'm sure there are many others but these are the few that cross my mind the most often.