A Momma Bear's Cub

Luke has always jokingly referred to me as "momma bear" saying things like, "you don't want to mess with a momma bear's cubs." I'm a protective mother, especially of our oldest, Joshua. Since his rough start to life I have always been extra cautious when it comes to him. Even now if both kids are at the park and climbing too high I rush to Joshua first even though Joe is younger and smaller because I still think of Joshua as frail and fragile.

Since our visit to Joshua's school (Mount Olive Lutheran Preschool), I've been a little sad. I've noticed just in the last few days he's been more reserved, serious and anxious to be a part of a classroom. He's growing up and maturing, and even though it's what I've been praying he would grow into, I feel like it is happening so fast. My baby is growing up. We went to the Library today and instead of excitedly rushing in he walked slowing and quietly asked to read books in the chairs. I'm not going to lie, I was teary eyed watching him sit quietly flipping through a National Geographic Magazine.

If you've ever experienced God answering your prayer, I mean truly proving to make possible the impossible, I am sure that experience is seared into your memory. Joshua is my answer to so many prayers I prayed in desperation. Often I think his wild creativity and excitement for life are viewed by others as overwhelming, but where they see a rambunctious 4 year old, I see God's faithfulness. The blood disorder that Joshua was said to suffer from in its very description is the opposite of Joshua. "Lethargic, barely able to reach the top of a staircase without exhaustion," is what the doctor had told us would be the signs of him needing more transfusions. His energy, to me, is like a rainbow after the rain; a reminder that even when God didn't have to heal him - He did.

His growing up, maturing, and heading to school is what so many thought would never happen. while on vacation this last week we had a chance to visit our old friends at South Canyon. Many of them approached me saying they couldn't believe that Josh was the same boy they had prayed and prayed for. I have nothing to respond to them with other than "he really is a miracle."

I've been smothering him with kisses these last few days knowing than when I drop him off this Tuesday his goodbye to me will be short and if I'm not careful to enjoy these 'little boy' moments it will seem all to quick and I'll be dropping him off at college. I think the tears are just beginning for this Momma Bear.