The Beginning

There are 2 Questions that I am often asked as a stay at home mom and a Pastor's Wife. The first Question is "Were you sleeping?" If I receive a phone call in the middle of the day I am almost guaranteed to hear this stated on the other line. I'm not sure who these stay at home moms are who have time to chase their kids, cook, clean, do the laundry and NAP. I wish that I could nap in the middle of the day with good a clear concious. The few times that I have tried to catch up on my sleep from the deprivation of the previous night I have always found myself ridden with guilt in knowing that if I actually doze off there will be no clean shirts in my husbands drawers or toys will still be covering the living room floor when company comes over. I have no idea where my friends, family and other acquaintences have gotten the idea that stay at home means stay in bed, but as much as I wish I could answer their question with a yes, My answer is most definately no, I was not just sleeping.

The second question that I am most frequently asked is a classic. "What does your husband do all day?" To be married to a Pastor is fascinating. I am constantly shocked by what people assume a Pastor does and does not do. A few of my favorite assumptions are as follows : My husband only works on Sundays. All being a Pastor entails is telling the same Bible stories we've all heard over and over again. We must never have any fun. My child is destined to be "Wild" as all Pastors' kids are. We never watch TV. The list could go on and on of things come up again and again in coversations I've had.

So what is the answer to this popular question? There are many answers because my husband does and is many things to many people. Now on a typical day my husband leaves for work in the morning just like he would for any other job, he goes to the office and returns calls and emails, studies for his sermon (which contrary to what many people think requires more than just 'reading his Bible'). Because of the proximity of our house to the church he does come home for lunch, but after grabbing a quick bite he returns to the church where he usually does one of two things. He either ventures out on visits, or he calls and follows up church administrative work (ie: ordering materials, checking on visitors to the church, making copies of sermons that have been requested, getting ready for meetings...the list could go on and on).

All that was previously stated is what happens on a typical day. What happens on a not so typical day? The phone could ring at 3am and someone from the church could be in the hospital an hour away. So he leaves and drives to the hospital to be with that person and their family and prays with them and encourages them. This summer he stayed by the bedside of a dying woman for 19 days until she went to be with the Lord, constantly praying and reading her scripture. Someone could show up at our home at 7am and need marriage counseling because they're ready to leave their spouse if they don't get help. Sometimes the phone rings off the hook with people requesting counseling. Sometimes however the phone is silent because no matter how much a congregation wants their pastor when they desperately need him, the relationship often goes unreciprocated.

People think of a pastor and his wife as super humans who need nothing given to them, like a bottomless checking account where they can continue to make withdrawls but never have to make any deposits. You know that saying "it's lonely at the top." That statement can sure feel true. So what is it that a Pastor does all day? God's work in man's world, it's a tough job the hours are long and the pay isn't good, but the benefits can be endless.